HOLY SHIT.

I was cleaning up my documents folder and came across a file that had the address to this blog as well as the sign in information. I completely forgot I even had this blog! I guess it was rather short lived... the approx 10 posts aren't too impressive but a nice attempt for my 16 year old self. My God I feel old now! I'm almost 21 and this blog has been sitting out here on the internet with my name on it for anyone to read? A disturbing thought but somewhat appealing so I decided to do the usual "Me" thing and take it to the next level. I mean, I'm only taking 18 hours, play a club sport, am in a sorority, and spend a ridiculous amount of time at the bar, but what the hell? I can keep a blog. I'm a responsible university student on my way to becoming a productive citizen in the great United freakin' States of America, am I not? Oh, I am. And I intend to keep my many readers (cough) informed of my progress.

Which, I might add as a warning, is not impressive. Let's just say I suck up enough to my profs to get As and show up to the minimum amount of meetings to put shit on my resume and spend the rest of my time engaging in procrastination activities. Some (though very, very few) are somewhat "educational," like this blog, but the vast majority involve large amounts of beer, drugs, sex, and otherwise making a fool of myself in public.

Don't go getting too excited. This is not a diary. I have a journal for most of the juicy details of my life (because it IS juicy) but I'm sure I can think of some stupid shit to write about on here. Tips, life lessons, WORDLY COLLEGE ADVICE? I'm sure the parents of freshmen girls everywhere will be thrilled to have me (a respectable, intelligent role model) giving their daughters such helpful and supportive advice.

Needless to say, I know a lot more than I did when I was the "oh so wise" 16 year old that started this blog, but I still don't really know shit. I'm an American college student, how much could I really know? BUT the good news is that although I'm sadly uninformed about world events and actually IMPORTANT things, I DO know quite a lot about college life and how to avoid looking like a complete FROSH (usually....we all have our nights)

Some topics I plan to cover during my "free" time (I say "free" because that implies it's really time I should be reading my textbooks or writing papers that I really don't give a damn about.):

-BOYS. oh. how we love them. i actually have a lovely rant on the subject of being a whiny psycho bitch. Hold your "boys are assholess!!!!!!" complaint until you read this. Maybe its not really them that's the issue?

-PROFS. sounds totally lame, right? But really, if you want to get away with doing all the other things I'll discuss in this blog, you need to learn how to handle your profs. They hold the keys to those little As you need on your report to stay in school so you can keep partying.

-DGAF....for those of you who don't know what this stands for, let me clarify: DON'T GIVE A FUCK. People always say to me, "How are you so LAID BACK about this??? AREN'T YOU UPSET?" And I say no, DGAF. because that's how you avoid drama and have fun. It's not always easy but it's always worth it.

-GIRLS. God, they're almost worse than BOYS. they bitch, they steal your clothes, and maybe even your boyfriend. But they're here to stay and you're going to have to deal with them so you might as well learn to do it to your advantage.

-RUMORS.... wooooooo scandalous! Learning to love the shit talk.

-being a YES person. say yes, yes, yes! As one of my favorite people Marilyn Monroe said, "Ever notice how 'what the hell' is always the right answer?"

-being a REAL person. my favorite kind of people. they're so much more fun. And there's a pretty easy way to identify them (hint: it's MARIJUANA)

-DRUGS. Now I don't claim to be an expert, but I think I can probably introduce you to some new information you might not have heard.

-FRESHMAN FIFTEEN. we all fear it, most of us experience part of it.

-STRESS. although this may be combined with DGAF

-BOOZE. take the shot, bitch.

-RULES OF BEING A FRESHMAN. I'm gonna go ahead and point out that attending a frat party and being rude to the girls there is one of many BAD ideas. You will fuck yourself for the next 4 years, believe me.

God I can talk. Just imagine me after a few snorted adderall, it's out of control. But it's 4am, and I have about 4 weeks worth of homework to accomplish before tonight so I can get fucked up for the football game. Let's hope I actually keep this updated this time around and MAYBE I'll even get a few readers....?

But if I don't....DGAF.

xoxo bitches.