The DMV...what's it good for?

I am at a loss for words.
I am nearly 16 and a half and I FAILED MY PERMIT TEST!

To my credit, I did take Driver's Ed in October... so it's been a while. However, this is completely unacceptable...and not my fault. I was going along quite nicely in the test, knowing when to slow down, what lights to use, when to signal... when I got to the dreaded questions... DRUNK DRIVING.

Sample Question: "What is the point system?"
Me: Huh? There's a point system? I swear we never learned that...A?
WRONG!!!!

Sample Question: "What penalty occurs on the second DWI?"
Me: Uh....C?
WRONG!!!

I mean, how would I know what the penalty for drunk driving is? I've never even driven, let alone drive under the influence. A more important question..."What should you never do while driving?" Now THAT I could answer, but these vague legal questions are pointless. Do I look like a lawyer to them?

So I ended up having to settle for an ID card, because I need identification for my trip to NJ in August. While I was trying to decide whether to smile or not... CLICK! So I came out with a half smile and cold eyes. It could be worse though, so overall not so bad.

As for why I waited almost a year to get my ass to the DMV... don't ask. I really don't know. It was probably a combination of my extreme laziness, procrastination tendencies, and fear of governmental agencies... and this fear is not unfounded. Government agencies are scary places. Take the DMV for example. First off, the lighting it awful, so everyone looks like they have an issue with picking the right foundation (probably why everyone's pictures suck). Second of all, everyone wears the DRABBEST (is that a word?) colors. I realized after about 15 minutes that I, in my bright blue t-shirt, was the only one with any taste in clothing. Yes, it was my school powder puff shirt, but at least it had life! Everyone else was sporting these horrible, puke-stained, out-of-season....rags. I felt like I had walked into the unemployment office with all the frowning faces. Do these people ever smile? I get sick of standing in line too, but I entertained myself by doing impressions of my Driver's Ed teacher for my mom. She was a slightly large woman with too tight jeans, and those clingy shirts that only magnified her saggy boobs. She often mentioned how "rude" and "inconsiderate" other drivers were, and her favorite thing to say was, "It just pissed me off! Seeing those cars just cuttin' right in! So RUDE!" If she is ever charged with assaulting another driver, I will NOT be surprised. Anyway, I was probably the only person smiling in there, and people resented me for it. I could just feel it. Strangers were looking at me in disgust as if to say, "How DARE you enjoy your summer you insolent child?"

On the other hand, the monotony of these people's jobs must kill them. By the time it was my turn, I had memorized the officer's (or whatever you want to call her) interrogation script.
"Do you suffer from seizures? Do you have any heart conditions? Do you wish to become a donor? Do you wear glasses? Please read the letters starting with the last line... the signs now please. Do you have any problems with drugs or alcohol? Please sign here. Please wait here. Thank you." Honestly, I could probably go in there and get a job right now.

But back to my test. I felt a little better when everyone I talked to told me they failed at least once, and in one of my friend's cases... three times.

What really pissed me off though, was when my mom (not me, because I'm a failure) was driving to the store, and this car just pulled in front of us with NO warning, signal, etc.

And I just thought, so HE (obviously a lawyer by his car) gets his license, but I, a poor actress/student can't? I would never not use my signal!

And they say America is an equal oppertunity country. Assholes.